Shark sketches, dinosaur drawings… my two-year-old thinks I’m a genius

Shark sketches, dinosaur drawings… my two-year-old thinks I’m a genius

The Guardian

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My son’s ecstatic response to my drawing skills leaves me in no doubt – Damien Hirst would be blown away

If you haven’t drawn something for a two-year-old recently, I highly recommend it. The reaction is immediate and delirious, although it could be down to my particularly good skills as an artist. My Iggle Piggle is renowned, my self-portrait very nearly a photograph. And as for my sharks? Please. It’s a very real prospect that if Damien Hirst ever saw one of my great whites, he’d pour his formaldehyde down the sink in despair. My dinosaurs are the pride of Stoke Newington, since I can draw all two dinosaur types – standing T-Rex and lumbering diplodocus – with the canny brio of a master draughtsman. I don’t include feathers because I’m not ready for that yet. I’m just about at peace with phonetic spelling and Pluto not being a planet, so feathered dinosaurs will have to wait.

Even so, the effect is uncanny. It’s said that when George Stubbs’s famous painting of Whistlejacket was displayed by Lord Rockingham, the horse in question found it so lifelike he tried ‘to get at it, to fight and to kick it’. We can never know for certain how a dinosaur would respond to the witchcraft that is my recreation of their form, but it’s safe to say we’re lucky they had a full and frank conversation with that meteor 66m years ago, or they’d probably be tearing my house to pieces.

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