How can I stop obsessing about my fiance’s ex-girlfriend?

How can I stop obsessing about my fiance’s ex-girlfriend?

The Guardian

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You need to look at how you were made to feel as a child, says Annalisa Barbieri. Was the love conditional?

My fiance and I have been together for 18 months, but we haven’t seen each other for almost a year due to Covid restrictions. He had a four-year relationship before, with a girl he claimed he didn’t like that much, saying they always argued. At the beginning, I was totally fine with this, as everyone has a past. However, things started to change after I saw some pictures of them together and over the past few months I have started asking him all kinds of questions, such as, “Did you go to that place with her?” and, “Did you try this sex position with her?” If he says no, I’m OK, but if the answer is yes, I normally end up crying and blaming him. I know it’s not healthy, but I always bring it up in our daily call. It has become an obsession. No matter what we are discussing, I can always bring it back to his past. If he gets impatient, I get more angry.

I can feel this is affecting our relationship and I want it to stop, but I don’t know how. We can’t create new memories right now. Can this issue be solved only once we can meet up again, or is there a way to fix it before then?

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